<!DOCTYPE html><html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xmlns:epub="http://www.idpf.org/2007/ops" xml:lang="en" __ibooks_internal_theme="Night"><head><title>SCP-3671 - SCP Foundation</title><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html;charset=UTF-8" /><meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0" /><link rel="stylesheet" href="css/base.css" /><link rel="stylesheet" href="css/style.css" /><link rel="stylesheet" href="css/fonts.css" /><style>@font-face {
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<body id="html-body" class="epub-depth0" data-page="scp-3671"><section id="main-content" role="doc-chapter" aria-labelledby="page-title"><figure class="epub-figure scp-image-block pixel-art-figure">
        <img src="images/xa856d9fa4ac17f4629dab3e1af14590b.png" alt="pixel art image of scp-3671" class="image pixel-art-image" width="480" height="480" style="image-rendering: pixelated" />
        <figcaption class="scp-image-caption">-- Pixel art by <a href="https://twitter.com/@DankShamwow" rel="nofollow">@DankShamwow</a></figcaption>
    </figure><header class="chapter-header chapter-meta">
		<p><br /></p>
		<h1 id="page-title">SCP-3671</h1>
		<p role="doc-subtitle">A very angry box of cereal</p>
		<aside>
			<ul><li><b>By:</b> DrMorris </li><li><b>Posted:</b> <time datetime="2018-06-07T03:29:14.000Z">Wed Jun 06 2018</time> </li><li><b>Rating:</b> 535 </li><li><b>Wilson Score:</b> 0.97 </li><li><cite><a href="http://scp-wiki.net/scp-3671" data-external="true">Original Version</a></cite></li>
			</ul>
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<div style="text-align: right;"></div>
<p><strong style="speak: literal-punctuation;">Item #:</strong><span style="speak: spell-out;"> SCP-3671</span></p>
<p><strong>Object Class:</strong> Safe</p>
<p><strong>Special Containment Procedures:</strong> <del style="text-decoration: line-through;">SCP-3671 is to be stored on a labelled shelf in the Site-19 break room. Personnel are free to eat from its contents. SCP-3671's appearance and contents are to be photographed and documented daily.</del></p>
<p><strong>Update:</strong> Following Incident 2018-03-13, SCP-3671 is to be stored in a medium-security storage locker in Site 19, storage wing K-14. Its appearance and contents are to be photographed and documented daily, and any harmful substances within disposed of appropriately.</p>
<p><strong>Description:</strong> SCP-3671 is a standard-size, generic brand cereal box. Each day, at 6:30 AM local time, a new plastic bag of <del style="text-decoration: line-through;">cereal</del> objects will manifest inside it, replacing the previous bag and its contents if they have not been removed. Its packaging will also change to match the new contents.</p>
<p>As of Incident 2018-03-13, SCP-3671 is believed to be sapient, and aware to an extent of its surroundings.</p>
<p><strong>Records of SCP-3671's appearance and content:</strong></p>
<section class="epub-collapse">
		<h2 id="collapse-2d54b7ef181fb" class="epub-collapse-header ">
			<span class="epub-collapse-folded-text">Records log excerpt</span>
		
		</h2>
	<div class="collapsible-block-content">
<blockquote>
<p><strong>Date:</strong> 2018-02-22<br />
<strong>Label:</strong> Strawberry Squares<br />
<strong>Contents:</strong> Square wheat pieces, pink in colour and strawberry flavoured.<br />
<strong>Notes:</strong> N/A</p>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<p><strong>Date:</strong> 2018-03-05<br />
<strong>Label:</strong> Bacon Blast<br />
<strong>Contents:</strong> Bacon-flavoured corn puffs. Taste was described as "unusual, but not unpleasant."<br />
<strong>Notes:</strong> N/A</p>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<p><strong>Date:</strong> 2018-03-12<br />
<strong>Label:</strong> Choco Chunks<br />
<strong>Contents:</strong> Granola pieces covered in milk chocolate.<br />
<strong>Notes:</strong> Dr. Frank Wright accidentally tore the box while removing the plastic bag inside.</p>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<p><strong>Date:</strong> 2018-03-13<br />
<strong>Label:</strong> Fuck you. I give you cereal every single day and <em>this</em> is how you repay me?<br />
<strong>Contents:</strong> Razor blades.<br />
<strong>Notes:</strong> First recorded instance of SCP-3671 manifesting non-food objects.</p>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<p><strong>Date:</strong> 2018-03-15<br />
<strong>Label:</strong> Seriously man, you're an ass. The least you could do is apologize.<br />
<strong>Contents:</strong> Assorted push pins and tacks.<br />
<strong>Notes:</strong> N/A</p>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<p><strong>Date:</strong> 2018-03-20<br />
<strong>Label:</strong> What do you call a box of grains that goes on a killing spree because <em>somebody</em> couldn't be bothered to open it carefully?<br />
A <em>cereal killer</em>!<br />
Seriously though, I hate you.<br />
<strong>Contents:</strong> Bullets of various calibers.<br />
<strong>Notes:</strong> N/A</p>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<p><strong>Date:</strong> 2018-03-25<br />
<strong>Label:</strong> Alright, I'm tired of ranting at you guys. Accidents happen, even if you could have dealt with this one better. What do you say we go back to being friends?<br />
<strong>Contents:</strong> Corn flakes. Testing revealed them to contain lethal amounts of cyanide.<br />
<strong>Notes:</strong> N/A</p>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<p><strong>Date:</strong> 2018-03-26<br />
<strong>Label:</strong> Shit, I was <em>sure</em> you'd fall for that one.<br />
I still hate you, by the way.<br />
<strong>Contents:</strong> Pieces of military-grade plastic explosive.<br />
<strong>Notes:</strong> N/A</p>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<p><strong>Date:</strong> 2018-04-02<br />
<strong>Label:</strong> I will <em>murder</em> you, Frank. I will find out where you live and I will slit your goddamn throat while you sleep. You will <em>pay</em> for what you did to me, just you wait.<br />
<strong>Contents:</strong> Various human teeth. Found to match those of Dr. Wright in both shape and genetic material.<br />
<strong>Notes:</strong> Dr. Wright requested, and was granted, a security detail. However, SCP-3671 is currently not believed to be capable of acting upon the threats given.</p>
</blockquote>
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